If God gave me a chance with love, it’d be with him, and for the record, it was the best day I’ve had in a long time, thus far. I can’t even begin to describe the immense amount of feelings and happiness I experienced today. I want to keep this memory to myself, so I won’t talk about it, but seriously, best wait after two years, ever.
I feel like I’m deteriorating. My back is in so much pain, I got four hours of sleep last night, my stomach feels like a bombing ground, I’ve hardly eaten this whole week, I’m dizzy, and my chest hurts. I seriously need some R&R before Martin comes tomorrow. A few of my friends came to the conclusion that spite my pescetarian diet, I haven’t had much protein, or the intake that I should have so after a two and half months or so I’m going to break the rules and eat meat for a bit. My first meal? McDonald’s.
I can’t go to one room where there isn’t a person occupying it in my house, let alone I have a sister who follows me like a dog, even my dog doesn’t do that! I’m contemplating going outside, but my parents will be all sketched out. It’s a hard knock life.
I forgot I had to read a few bits of Hemingway and take notes, while half my homework is left undone—procrastinating like a big shot. I just got off the phone with him, it’s crazy how I get all giggly and tongue-tied.
Grrreat, I just realized I bought the mens 1460 white Doc Martens when there was a womens version too. Gerrrrrr. I must wait to call tomorrow and see what I can do about my return. The only dilemma is that they require you to log into your account to use the return form that way, except that we bought the shoes without an account. I hope they can do something about it, fudgeeeee.
I dislike when my mom tells me she’ll do something then change her mind last minute. She had told me all weekend after putting it off that she’d fix this horrendous hair color of mine, but last minute she says she doesn’t have the appropriate color when CLEARLY she had three prior clients who required the same color and the pure fact that she could have thought this through earlier. Doesn’t help i’m extremely irritable and depressed at the same time.
I’m swimming in the tidepool of my once loved. I notice the three preserved red roses out of the dozen that you gave me on Christmas. The baby pictures that we once shared that I tuck safely away. I open my closet and see the wolf stuffed animal that I once held onto every night. Right next to the flowers lay the snoopy plush you so happened to give me on our first date on a whim. That perfume you gave me hides behind various lotions and mousse—maybe if I smelled it, it would bring me nostalgia. My mother always told me she liked the way the necklace you gave me brought a glow to my eyes, oh Tiffany, you rest in my drawer now. Remember the jacket you gave me? To keep me warm? I only wear it so often, maybe it reminds me too much of how you used to make me feel. The various cards are all nicely buried in the crevice of my baskets, nothing visible for me to re-read. I sleep under the Paopu fruit I bought to match yours, I remember Christmas like the way you had me going, something to be unwrapped, but in the end, thrown away. I’m drowning in the then, the then I shared with three past boyfriends, and I’m still reminded by them all by the things they gave to me, and the lessons they taught my heart. Too bad I never learned how to swim.