you gonna show the world that something good can work and it can work for you
You mean the world to me and seeing you hurt or sad triggers something in my brain, you don’t deserve any of that. I know times are rough right now and not everything is picture perfect but you can overcome any obstacle thrown at you, I know that for a fact. I’m glad after a year of silence you re-entered my life but I wish it was at better timing, you being happy. You tell me you are fine but I know you, i know you are not and that makes me feel so worthless because I want to be there for you but these miles between us stop us from doing so. We are so similar in wanting the same things, in finding what we want in others and in believing we both deserve better. I know our relationship wasn’t anything official because it was through distance but I seriously think out of all the guys in my life I wouldn’t mind starting over with you. You say I make you happy and you wish we talked more and that’s what I want too. I want for you to be happy. You don’t know how lucky you are Z, you have a band that’s playing gigs locally, you are in a serious relationship of two years, you have your family, your friends, and me. I will always be here and I wish you knew that. Back when I said “i love you” i still mean that, it may not be the same meaning from a year ago but I still do and always will.
I would like to blame the tumblr app on my itouch for my lack of sleep
I seriously can’t get enough, I’m a cold hard addict. I’ll seriously get inspired at 3AM and just find random blogs that basically read my soul and bloody reblog everything. I’ll wake up in the morning and my first instinct is to check my dash, then after I get ready i’ll check it again, and again after that. Please tell me i’m normal. Sometimes I wonder if I’m crazy and maybe I am and maybe you are too, and maybe the true crazy person is the person who doesn’t question their sanity.
WIN! The last time I ate was
at 5pm yesterday, mind you, I’m starving!! And my hair? I’m done with growing it out, going to chop it up around my shoulders and maybe dye it reddish-brown-auburn. Pictures to come but the chipotle is mine ;)
if i can't love you as a lover, i will love you as a friend
In all this havoc and chaos somewhere along the lines of reality and dreaming, I know i’ll be fine. The only thing I have to do now is look up, i’ve been at the bottom of this pit for so long and now the sun is shining into my life. I’ve lost touch with who I was and all I can do is find myself again. I want to thank you for helping me find apart of me when I was lost and confused, although i’ll never be fully satisfied i’ve regain insight of all the happy memories. I don’t know where life will take me from here, but don’t we all question that from time to time? I’ve always looked back and now it’s time to look ahead and just purify myself from all the guilt and regrets in my life. Of course I will always wonder what crosses your mind, and I hope it’s something that makes you happy because thats all I could ever hope for. Oh reader, I hope your happy. I don’t know the wounds that mark your heart, nor your faded past but I do sincerly hope you are happily living the life you are given. Yes, life is precious. We are given a gift everyday, even just a genuine smile from a stranger can make us feel wanted and loved. It’s a warm feeling isn’t it? To feel loved. Although the seasons are changing my love for you will never end. I guess it’s true what people say that only time can heal the pain.
I told myself that I wouldn't go through this, but he said he promised this time.
I made this up back in the 7th grade or so, I still stand by what I say. If it doesn’t make sense then just read it a few times until you get it. I’m currently listening to City and Colour and i’m simply at ease, there is no tension once Dallas Green starts to sing. Well i’m off for now, I’m going to the mall with Maithe and Matthew tomorrow :)
I can’t believe this, I’ve met a guy who i’m starting to like and he likes me back but of course something is always in the way. Distance. Ironically in the same town where my old crush lives. Just why can’t things work out for ONCE? I guess this is a sign of some sort, I hope it’ll be worth the wait.
AND he said goodnight beautiful!
Djckdosjfkjm this sucks.